Insurance Jokes

1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. 2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. 3. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it. 4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. 5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. 6. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number

of times before I hit him. 7. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. 8. In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole. 9. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. 10. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. 11. I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. 12. As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. 13. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian. 14. My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. 15. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. 16. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull. 17. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. 18. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him. 19. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car. 20. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. 21. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. 22. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.

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